Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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