What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Soap is not a condiment
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize