Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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