when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
