I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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