My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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