I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
