I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
