He kissed a someone with a penis
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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