It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
