arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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