what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
