she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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