with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
