I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
