Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
