She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
