I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
