I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
