just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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