8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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