Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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