we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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