I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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