I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
did i walk over a car last night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
