Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
it's great music for shaving your balls
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
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