I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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