Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
