I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
