you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
