are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
