I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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