Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So vagazzling was a success
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize