She is in my trunk
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
