that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
And then he peed in my hair
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