It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
