she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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