Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
