totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
