I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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