I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
