dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
