Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
