i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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