Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
