Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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