i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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