I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize