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I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
