I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
