Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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