he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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