I heard we made out
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
