Dual....:-)
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
