My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We need to rekindle our bromance
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
