All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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