oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize