Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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