Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
