$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
